One morning you wake up and you don't know who you are. Scrolling friends, lovers, acquaintances. Identity loss. A familiar stranger in your body. Braver, riskier, bolder, crueler. Facing reality, the confidence that comes from avoidance has faded. You're left with an emptiness you know you need to fill. The life you lived was always going to expire. Brownness dunked in White hedonism. You knew back then as you know today, that to be truly sustainable you must do the work: the long term work, the facing your shadows work, the hate and love work, the look at yourself in the mirror without makeup work. Yet, you can't help but miss the part of you that used to be wild and free. The fine form of escapism you built in a world that was burning. You realise that it can no longer be about surviving; it has to be about thriving.